My Dad, My Memories, My Story
I thought he would be with me forever or at least just be a phone call away as I grew older. My father was 6 ft 3 inches which always seemed like 10 foot 2 in my eyes. His big hands enveloped mine, he had a booming voice, a gorgeous smile and he was tough and didn’t appreciate backtalk or take any crap from anyone. He had a bit of a temper at times and you did not want to get spanked by him, but we played all the time, we ate popcorn and watched movies together, he bought me my first baseball mitt, took me fishing and bestowed upon me his love and now me and my children’s LOVE for Football.
My parents divorced when I was 12. It was very difficult for our family and back then I only saw him on the weekends or just on Sundays but we made the best of it.
My Dad took me to my first concerts Bob Seger at Pine Knob and Heart at Cobo Arena. My father was a part time bouncer at a discotheque called The Rare Cherry. One night he took me and my girlfriend to the disco and we were in awe with the glittering Disco Ball in the middle of the dance floor and all the people. I should say a few people it was only 7:00 and we were out by 9:00 but we were in Seventh Heaven!!! He drove a Cherry Red Corvette Stingray and one time when I was just 14 he let me drive it around the block. Again I thought I was so cool!
Dad decided he needed a pet and purchased a tarantula whom he named Freddie. My brother and I loved catching black crickets and grasshoppers for Freddie so we could watch him eat. We went to lots of Corvette and Classic car shows and he took us to local bars to eat hamburgers, play video games and watch football.
I realize that this childhood of bars, tarantulas, and corvettes doesn’t sound conventional but I thought my Dad was cool and he was very protective of me and my brother. He was my first knight in shining armor and I felt completely safe with my Dad and completely LOVED and that’s what I miss the most. That feeling of being loved by my Daddy. Cancer stole my Father from me when I was 16 years old just ten days after his 40th birthday. The word Devastated doesn’t cover how I felt that day I lost him. It still doesn’t.
It’s hard not feeling his touch or hug. Not hearing his voice. I would do anything to hear his voice because I don’t remember it anymore. I haven’t written about my father in a very long time. When he first passed I wrote poems about him and how miserable I was without him. It wasn’t until this Blog that I felt like writing again and writing about my father seems right especially today on what would have been his 74th birthday.
Faith And Resilience
Grief is a very powerful Emotion and it can take you down a dark path for awhile. It did me but 34 years later I ‘ve become stronger from going through this Difficult time. I have had plenty of ups and downs in my life since losing my Dad but Resilience and Faith have kept me from going under.
Knowing I will see him again Keeps Me Strong.
Creating Photo books and albums of him and our life together Keeps Me Comforted
Finally, looking at my handsome middle son, who is the spitting image of my Father, Keeps me Loved because I know Daddy is Always There.
Chillin With Carrie
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